25 Christmas cracker jokes?
This festive season, many of us might be struggling to find something to laugh about. And with many parts of the country under the toughest government restrictions and facing Christmases without their families, the sales of Christmas crackers have hit a historic low.
That’s why we decided that West London was in dire need of a cheesy cracker joke injection and, since the start of December, we’ve been posting a Christmas cracker-worthy joke everyday.
We hope you enjoy them, and be sure to share your favourites around the table to ensure LOLs a-plenty on the 25th.
- Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? Answer: Because he doesn’t like China!
- What did Santa do to the underperforming elves? Answer: He gave them the sack.
- Why did the children start to eat their new jigsaw puzzle on Christmas day? Answer: Their mum said it would be a piece of cake.
- Why did Rudolph log on to Amazon when his tail fell off? Answer: Because they’re the biggest online re-tailers.
- Why did the mum buy her son a fridge for Christmas? Answer: Because she wanted to see his face light up when he opened it.
- How do you know that Santa is an expert in Karate? Answer: Because he has a black belt.
- What do composers write in December? Answer: Their Christmas Chopin lists.
- What do you call a child who doesn’t believe in Santa? Answer: A rebel without a Claus.
- How much did Father Christmas pay for his sleigh? Answer: Nothing, it was on the house.
- Why is Father Christmas trying to go down fewer sooty chimneys this year? Answer: He wants to reduce his carbon footprint.
- What did West Londoners do during Tier 3 lockdown to amuse themselves? Answer: They made inside jokes.
- What did the detective say when asked if Joe Exotic was guilty? Answer: I don’t know, let me mullet over…
- What do you call the panic buying of sausages in Germany? Answer: The wurst case scenario.
- Why wont Santa lose any of his presents this year? Answer: He’s downloaded Sack and Trace.
- Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Answer: There was no Zoom at the inn.
- Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? Answer: They’re always dropping their needles.
- Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Answer: Because the “ARR!” rate had risen.
- Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Answer: Because soon, it’s behind you.
- Why didn’t Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? Answer: Because all Virgin flights had been cancelled.
- Which government scheme supports Christmas dinner? Answer: Eat Sprout to Help Out.
- Which athlete is warmest in winter? Answer: Long jumpers.
- What are the best Christmas jumpers made from? Answer: Fleece Navidad.
- Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Answer: Spruce Springsteen
- What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? Answer: The Christmas alphabet has noel.
- What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song? Answer: Driving Home for Christmas.
We hope these put a smile on your face and encourage you tell some turkeys of your own!
On behalf of everyone at Horton and Garton, we wish all of our West London clients a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!
